Where I Go When I Go MIA

I am all over the place. Maybe it’s my personality type (INFJ), my ennegram (4), or maybe it’s my zodiac (Gemini), but I tend to get big ideas, big bursts of motivation, and then an intense and abrupt crash. Sometimes I want to withdraw into myself and stay there, and I do. And that leads to me going a little MIA — from both blogging and real life.

I used to be the type of person who would work, work, work until everything on my to-do list had a tick mark, but that wasn’t working. I was anxious, panicked, and tired. So I made some changes, saw some therapists, and now I can step aside and say “enough is enough.” The problem is I saw that a little too much; I’ve become a bit lethargic, unmotivated, and still so tired. But I’m working on it.

Today I wanted to touch base on where I go when I go MIA. Where am I when I go weeks without reaching out to friends? What am I doing when I don’t blog for weeks?

Maybe this is selfishly for me.

Mental Health on the Mend

I’m not too vocal about my mental health, but I’m not silent on the subject either. I’ve been struggling with my mental health, probably since I was a kid, but since about the age of 15, juggling anxiety, depression, and small bouts of OCD tendencies. I’ve been on an anti-depressant since I was 19. And while I’m getting better, I wouldn’t say I’m great.

We all have bad days. But some days are low and all-consuming. And those days sometimes last multiple days. This would take a whole other blog post to explain. When this happens, I don’t have much choice other than stepping back. I have no motivation, I’m incredibly emotional, and mole hills turn into mountains that I just can’t climb.

…until I can.

Creative Ruts Happen

Posting three times a week on the blog, trying to keep up with a handful of social media channels, freelance writing, and working a 40 hr. work week in an office can be physically, emotionally, and creatively taxing. Guys, sometimes I just can’t think of anything to do. My blog pitches seem silly. My social posts seem pointless. And I’d honestly rather not create sub-par content for the sake of posting.

The last time this happened I reached out to my Twitter, and the great system of blogger support I have was helpful. Someone suggested I just sit back and try to be creative in other areas. So I did.

I rearranged the apartment. I read books that have been on my list, listed to podcasts, watched TV. I wrote down the projects as they came to me and eventually I had a month full of blog pitches, social ideas, and a little creative spark.

Sometimes you just need to step back and find a way to see your projects with new eyes.

Sometimes life takes precedent.

A lot of things have happened in the past year. While some of them warranted me having more time to spend working (leaving my full time job last year), others caused me to put blogging on the back burner.

My dad had a stroke at the beginning of the year, and it rocked me. While we’re all doing good now, it was scary and heartbreaking. But it caused me to step outside of myself and whisper a reminder in my own ear: “This is more important.”

I started a new job. Fitz and I bought a house! Life is happening, and sometimes that’s just more important than the hustle.

So sometimes when I go MIA from the blog, I’m hugging my loved ones. I’m crying, I’m laughing. Sometimes I’m traveling to new cities and taking in the culture. But what I’ve learned is that it’s OK.