This week, we’ve talked about what to wear and how to do your makeup for weddings, but they’re really more about the way you look. Weddings are about the couple getting married, and your focus and courtesies should revolve around the two of them. As a guest, you’ve got a few important responsibilities to remember.
RSVP.
This isn’t negotiable. The family will need a final headcount to give to vendors, like the caterer, about two weeks before the wedding. Not RSVPing and showing up will throw the whole operation for a loop, not to mention add unneeded stress.
And in regards to the invitation, pay attention. Did the couple have a special request with their invitation? Things like dress code are to be minded. If they didn’t care, they wouldn’t have said anything. So if they do have special requests, be considerate of those.
Don’t assume you can bring a guest.
Again, speaking of the invitation, unless your invitation specifically says [Your name and Guest], or something of the likes, don’t assume you can bring one. Again, a lot of planning goes into weddings. And a lot of the planning has to do with money and numbers. If the couple only has enough seating for the 150 people they invited, but half of them bring unexpected guests, there’s going to be issues all night.
Buy what’s on their registry.
I mean, you don’t have to get what’s on the registry, but the couple did choose and everything personally so you can ensure they will actually want and use the gifts they’ve listed. Cash and gift cards are always useful and welcome. If you do buy from the registry, start early, before you’re left with the most expensive items to choose from.
Generally speaking, you have about a year after the wedding to purchase a gift, so if you can’t afford it after paying for travel or lodging for the wedding, don’t sweat it. But if you do purchase a gift after the engagement shower, don’t bring the gift to the wedding. Have it sent to the bride/groom’s address.
Follow the seating chart if there is one.
The seating chart is something else the couple carefully curates. Pay attention to it. It’s especially important if you chose your meal with your RSVP. Not adhering to the seating chart will throw the meal off.
Attend the ceremony and on time.
Do not be one of those people who skip out on the ceremony but show up for the reception. That’s just disrespectful. If you can’t make the ceremony, just send you regards and RSVP ‘No.’
Don’t post photos until the bride and groom.
Let me reiterate, a lot of planning goes into weddings, not to mention a hefty check gets sent to the photographer in most cases. Don’t upload photos to social media that are of wedding details, first kisses, first dances, cake cutting, etc. until the bride and groom do. By all means, post a selfie or photo booth photos, just not the really sentimental bits. They paid their photographer to capture those with professional quality images. Just wait it out.
The half filled champagne glass is for toasting.
Don’t guzzle it down as soon as you sit. And sip it slowly. Sometimes there are a few speeches to get through.
You do not have to participate in religious rituals during the ceremony.
While you should follow the family’s lead when it comes to sitting and standing, you don’t have to follow religious rituals like kneeling or communion if it’s outside of your comfort zone or personal religion.
Know the appropriate time to leave.
Receptions usually last about four hours, and it’s pretty easy to tell when things are winding down. A good tip is not to leave before the cake is cut. When you do leave, make sure to say goodbye to the bride and groom, or if they are busy, say goodbye to the family.
Do you have any tips for wedding guests? Leave them below in the comments, I’d love to hear them!
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Rebecca Moran says
Put the phone away and enjoy the day. Let’s be honest…you’re never going to do anything with that shaky iphone vid of the bride coming down the aisle that you jumped out INTO the aisle to get. Both the photo and video team will now have captured you, crouching awkwardly in the aisle, instead of their perfectly planned shot of the bride and groom.
jacqiebrooks says
That’s a great tip! It’s not a race to see who can post it first. You might as well wait for the high quality photos/video from the photographer/videographer or the couple to post, then share that. It will just look better all around. Plus, the couple did pay for the services for a reason.
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